Keep Your Relationship Affair Proof
How to avoid the pain of infidelity
Many couples want to do whatever it takes to make their relationship affair proof. And while you can’t control someone else’s behavior, you can make it less likely that they will cheat by keeping your relationship strong and healthy.
It’s a lot of work to have a successful relationship, but it’s worth it to have an honest and happy marriage or life partner.
Cheating is a symptom
One of the most important things to remember is that cheating is a symptom of a problem in a relationship. It happens after the problem begins. So take time to focus on your partner and that will do a lot to reduce the chances of infidelity.
Lori Bizzoco, founder of CupidsPulse.com, said, “Relationships can be challenging if you don't take the time to work on them constantly. With relationship scandals happening all the time among celebrities, our media saturates us with this type of cheating and affair news. Many people want to know if there is a way to affair-proof a relationship. While there is not a specific secret, there are ways to ensure the relationship is healthy and will last.”
Bizzoco shared her tips that will ensure a better relationship:
Honesty: This is an important one if not the most important. If the relationship is full of lies it simply will not work. With that being said, it is normal to feel an attraction to other people but acting on it is a different story. It is important that couples are honest about these feelings in order to help prevent affairs from every occurring.
Respect: This one might seem like a no-brainer, but it is key to understanding your partner. If one person is in control of the other, the relationship will become one-sided and more of a dictatorship than a partnership. Mutual respect leads to an understanding of each other. This will lead to better communication and an overall deeper love.
Appreciation: This is key to gain mutual respect and admiration. One trick to gain a better relationship is to tell each other a few things that you noticed and appreciated about your partner that day. People love to feel appreciated and will work harder at something when they know they are doing a good job, so a little praise can go a long way.
Great sex: Everyone craves love and affection; it's part of being human. Sex makes a person feel like they are desired; which in turn helps create better self-esteem. Confident partners equal a happy relationship. It has been reported that couples who have higher levels of marital satisfaction also have a higher frequency of sex. Be spontaneous. When sex becomes too much of a routine it can get meaningless.
Communicate nicely: Communication goes along with honesty and respect. Have healthy and relaxed discussions, not heated arguments. Messages don’t get across when both sides are screaming. They key in communication is to listen to your partner. Hear them out in a calm manner. Be willing to compromise. When there is a discussion about the problems at hand, it’s easier to find a resolution. Communication problems are one of the most common factors that lead to divorce. If you feel that something is getting heated, make an agreement that one of you will walk away until things calm down. Some problems are not worth losing yourself into. Learn to take a minute or two in order to catch a breath. Communication is a constant issue in relationships, so always be willing to work on it with your partner.
Spend time together and apart
Lisa Bahar, a marriage and family therapist, said that it’s important to spend time together and apart, and to not be suspicious if your partner wants space and time alone. But to pay attention if their behavior changes.
“Be mindful when you feel your partner is drifting from the connection. There are times people need space, and other times there is something on their mind that may allude to seeking out other individuals to cope,” Bahar said.
It’s important to communicate with each other about affairs and what it means to you. “Many times those that have affairs, indicate they are not able to talk to their spouse or significant other in the way that they do with the affair, so consider that and reflect on if you are communicating effectively and responding to your partner.
What to do if your partner is already cheating
If you worry that your partner is already cheating on you, Bahar said that there is more depth to the issue than just affair proofing, since that is a fear-based action.
“Be willing to let go, perhaps if there is an affair transpiring, and your partner is seeking out someone else, sometimes you have to let go before the affair launches, not always, but sometimes the reality. Affairs are a symptom of something missing in the relationship,” she said.