What Not To Say In Your Online Dating Profile
It takes time to create a good dating profile that gets results, but it's worth it once you see the difference that a well-written profile makes in your love life.
However, there are certain things to avoid saying in an online dating profile if you want to attract quality men. Coming across as a negative person, with rigid expectations of the man you want to meet, can turn off more men than you attract.
Here is our list of the essentials to leave off of your dating profile.
Avoid negative comments
Karla Moore, a dating and relationship expert, shared her advice about what to leave out of your dating profile:
Do not speak about your dating fatigue or other negative thoughts about men or dating in your profile. Remember your online dating profile is like a little advertisement of you. It needs to convey the most positive side of your personality without coming off fake or contrived.
Do not talk about your partying escapades. At their core men are not looking for women that like to party too much. Intrinsically they know these women do not make great mothers or wives.
Do not write information that makes you come across like an uninteresting, one-dimensional couch potato. Saying the same things most women are saying on your online dating profile is going to make him pass you by. Be thinking of what makes you tick in the most positive light. Think of your special interests and highlight them in the body of your profile. We all want to know people that are interesting. This will help you separate yourself from the herd.
Do not go into great detail about your religious convictions. The online dating stratosphere is not the environment. In all honesty, your religious perspective does not need to be slathered all over your profile. Men will pass you by. You want to come across balanced and being vocal about religion can be quickly misinterpreted.
Anna Osborn, a couples therapist and relationship counselor, gave her advice on what to avoid saying:
Don't lie, embellish, exaggerate etc. And this doesn't just mean about your height and waistline. Don't lie about things you are interested in if you are really not. It's a disaster in the long run. It is much better to tell the truth about who you are versus risk not being recognizable when your date is searching for you in the restaurant.
Don't include so many expectations and demands in your profile that you miss out on sharing who you are and what excites you. In my experience, people have much more success in online dating when they use their profile to really talk about themselves and who they are as a person.
Don't ask for something you aren't ready to receive. You should know yourself well enough to know that a spontaneous, free spirited person is probably not the perfect match for a major planner, Type A person. Remember that you are looking for someone to complement you, not be your exact opposite.
Don't include info that is overly negative or judgmental. You can tell a lot about a person by how they express themselves and if your profile reads like a list of “No's” then folks are less likely to want to connect. Be positive and open to the possibilities.
Don't post super sexy photos
Jodi Riley, founder of SoulMateDance, gave her suggestions on what to leave out:
This one is obvious, but if you post super sexy pics in bikinis etc., you are likely to attract people only looking for a physical relationship. If you want something more than just the physical, stay away from the sexy pics. Post pics in outfits that make you look and feel great, but allow someone to get to know you in person before seeing the sexy side of you.
Leave out the list of what you don’t want. Putting in a list that says “don’t contact me if” just makes you look negative and will turn off men who would have contacted you and been great dates. List the things you find attractive in a date and the values you would like for your date to embody. Write so that a potential date can recognize themselves in your description.
It should go without saying, but don’t talk about a past relationship or a previous date in your profile narrative. You’ll inadvertently turn off suitable dates, because you’ll appear bitter and hung up on an ex. Talk about things you enjoy doing and what kinds of things you’d like to do with a date.
Don’t list all the things that come first in your life. Parents don’t need to say their kids are their top priority. This is a given. Talking about it in your narrative will only turn off men who will get the impression they will always come in second to your kids or your animals or whatever else you may have as your top priority in your life. Potential dates want to know that you can make room for them in your life. Talk about the things you love doing with your kids/pets etc., and how you also have room for a date or relationship.