Lady LUX

Key words to watch out for

“Many times, I’ve seen a profile that reads ‘looking for a woman who's a good cook.’ The translation is ‘cook and housekeeper.’ Ditto for ‘I’m a traditional man who enjoys being a man.’ Watch out, he's looking for someone to manage and he's going to control you,” warned Marcia King-Gamble, a relationship and dating expert.

Religion is another potentially sticky area. “When someone describes themselves as ‘God fearing,’ that always puts me off. I am respectful of people's beliefs, but in a profile that makes me uncomfortable and I begin to wonder if he's going to be quoting the Scriptures at me and his conversation will all be fire and brimstone,” she said.

Another word to look out for, she said, is if they say they want an “independent” woman. “Men seeking ‘independent’ women usually means ‘come with your own resources, I have no intention of picking up a tab.’”

“And, ‘open-minded’ means he’s either baggage laden, or he’s into some kinky stuff,” she said.

The seemingly innocuous statement that he’s “looking for someone with no drama” usually means that he already has plenty of that in his life,” King-Gamble said.

Casual hookups vs. long-term relationships

Amy Baglan, founder and CEO of Meet Mindful, added her thoughts on the subject:

• When a guy's profile says he is “looking for fun” that means he is probably seeking a casual hookup, not a long-term relationship. If that's what you're looking for – great. Message away. But if you want a long-term relationship, it's probably not worth your time to message and go on dates with a guy who has made it clear he's not looking for anything serious.
• If a guy only has one photo on his profile and it's blurry or unclear, that can be a sign that he's either not being his authentic self or is very insecure, which are both red flags. Nobody wants to be catfished, and more importantly, dating someone who is so insecure that he doesn't feel comfortable sharing a clear photo of himself means he will likely need constant reinforcement from you if you were to start dating, which can be exhausting.
• If a guy messages you saying “Hey, what's up?” or something very vanilla and generic like that, it could be a sign that he didn't take the time to read your entire profile, and instead just saw your photo and thought you were attractive enough to message. Again, if you're seeking a casual hookup, this might not be a big deal. However, if you're looking for a meaningful connection based on shared interests and values, it's important that this guy has taken the time to read your profile thoroughly and wants to get to know you better because of it. And if that's the case he will probably mention something about your profile that he found interesting when he first reaches out.
• If you can't find any social media profiles for a guy you're messaging with through a dating site, that can be a big red flag and likely means he's hiding something. If a guy is comfortable enough with the digital world to try online dating, it is highly unlikely that he wouldn't have existing social media accounts. If you can't find him on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook, it's because he doesn't want you to find him, and you shouldn't waste your time on a guy who is clearly hiding something.