When to Introduce a New Boyfriend to Everyone
Signs it's time for everyone to meet
It's hard to know when is the right time to introduce a new boyfriend to your friends and family. The holiday season is full of family gatherings, so while it's a natural time to introduce your new love, it's also full of potential stressors and, therefore, one of the hardest times for him to be able to feel comfortable around the important people in your life.
Our relationship experts share their thoughts on how to know when it's time to merge your love life with your family life.
Guidelines for introductions
Dating and relationship expert Barbie Adler, founder of Selective Search, shares her top five tips:
1. Wait to make family introductions until you've been together for at least three to six months. At that point, you've gotten past the honeymoon phase. You're sharing Netflix passwords with each other, you've met each other's friends, and all signs point to the potential for a serious relationship. You have taken the time to truly get to know this person, and feel confident in the relationship.
2. Try to avoid introducing your significant other to your family on a holiday - Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons especially. Holiday introductions cause an extra layer of pressure. Introducing that special someone to your aunts and uncles, wild nieces and nephews and cousins, let alone your parents can be nerve wracking for them. You may also be setting up premature expectations for the future of your relationship by starting with a holiday family meet and greet.
3. If you still have active accounts on dating sites, or are still rotating two or three guys, you should NOT be bringing anybody home. If you or they can't make a full commitment to this relationship, you shouldn't commit to bringing them home. What happens when you bring them home, and come to realize he wasn't long term material, only to find that your family really likes him. Alternatively, If you continuously bring home casual dates they may begin to wonder “who are we meeting next month?”
4. Ensure that the meeting takes place in a public setting. Meeting your significant other's family is filled with pressure for you and for them. What creates more pressure? Bringing your significant other to your home, where you have history and probably brought other guys. Being in completely unchartered waters, and not knowing if they will truly get along, is enough pressure. Put a little neutral in the equation by finding a nice, comfortable public spot. Then if drinks turn into dinner you'll be in the right place. Avoid movies and sporting events, your family won't have a chance to talk to your significant other as much as they would in a more intimate setting.
5. Have your significant other meet siblings, friends, or cousins before parents. Your siblings (or cousins and friends) will give you the blunt honest truth about the person you are dating. You may be crazy about them, and still a little blinded by the honeymoon phase, your friends however can give you an honest opinion. If you think your significant other has serious potential, take them for a test run with your siblings, friends, and/or cousins before you bring them home to your parents.
Don't rush it
There are no set rules when it comes to when the right time to introduce your boyfriend to friends and family is, as it can differ widely from one relationship to the next, said Jason Nik, life coach and relationship expert and author of The Warrior's Odyssey.
“However, it is always recommended to take your
time. Dating isn't a race and if you decide to make it a race, you increase your likelihood of crashing. Always make sure you are certain about the man, before introducing him to your parents. When you think about years into your future, do you see him by your side? If yes, then go ahead and introduce him. If you're unsure or he is unsure, then it's too soon. You
can introduce him to your friends a little bit sooner, just to see how he treats your friends. If he's disrespectful towards them then that's a red flag,” Nik said.